Tellin’ it Like it T- I - Tiz!

Erykah Badu’s fans have been hitting her hard with criticism b/c she has not been wed and has a third “Baby Daddy” and he’s THE THIRD rapper that she has chosen to have children with. Erykah responded to the matter by holding her own and quite definitively on ‘Okayplayer’ ending her tyrade with “kiss my placenta.” Although her reply is a testament to her skills as an entertainer, I don’t think Ms. Badu is exempt from all reproach. Essentially, Erica is a Baby Mama for the third time!!!

BEWARE THIS IS A LONG ONE!

FIRST, My Soap Box: I CAN NOT STAND A CELEBRITY THAT WHINES ABOUT BEING A CELEBRITY!!!!

One of the things I’ve been saying for so long about celebrities in general is what E. HUNTER said “I have no sympathy for those who seek the spotlight, but quickly get upset when that spotlight starts to burn.” Celebrities know average folk want to know about their larger than life lifestyles!!! IT’S HOW THEY MAKE THEIR MONEY!! If we aren’t interested in them they don’t get paid. This means any and ALL mistakes are subject to scrutiny. Does that make it right? Not really. But don’t whine about the good and the bad that comes with the job description.

OK BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING ….ERYKAH!–

I went to school with Erica and acted in a play or two with her and tended to shy away from her friendship b/c of her CHOICES!!! If I had known she was going to blow up maybe…. Lol! Don’t get me wrong…I love Erykah’s music! I love Erykah’s style! I love Erykah’s feminism! But, I would take pause before I emulate her lifestyle choices.

Role modeling: Unfortunately, in the black community celebrities are all that many young people have to look up to. Only 12% of this country’s 250 million people, the lack of role models and failing role models have more of an impact on the African American community than any other. 70% of fathers ARE NOT IN BLACK HOMES! What % of these fathers are NOT PARTICIPATING IN THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN period?? How many of these children had parents with the same M.O.? Think of the implications. No reference point for creating relationships, maintaining relationships OR the non-fairytale reality of relationships. Relationships are HARD WORK and take 2 committed people. It’s like taking a highly skilled job and not having any training. He/she is fine, they are a dime piece, he can hoop, she can do the splits etc., he’s got a job, she’s a 36-24-36…are not qualifications for long-lasting relationships. Yet we jump into them without thinking everyday.

My vantage point: I was born out of wed-lock to a 20 year-old mother 1 of 9 (with confused father issues) and an unknown father who was in the Air Force. To this day, I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM HIM!!! I was fortunate or unfortunate (long story) enough to have a stepfather! I MYSELF AM NO SAINT! I had my son at 17…out of wed lock! My promise to him?… I would make sure he never felt like he was in a single-parent home!!

Never make a promise you can’t keep.

My son’s father died at 7 and the pressure was on to keep this promise. When there are father and son events–I can’t substitute for his father’s absence. In fact, I feel for him when father’s day rolls around every year to remind him of his loss. The fact that he can’t wake up in the morning and eat breakfast with his father or talk to him before he goes to sleep at night pains me. What about those fatherly conversations that he overhears or those that will never comes his way. I’ve always wondered how he felt. Yet, He has never complained or shown hurt. He’s more resilient than I ever knew. When John Q came out I knew there would be no other to champion my own child outside of myself. When it’s time to talk condoms and ladies, I try. But…again. He’s 19 years old now, I can’t seem to motivate him the way I know his father or another male could. I worry about his ability to create healthy relationships b/c of the choices I made. It really wasn’t fair to him.

So as you can see. I really don’t care about Erykah, I am concerned with the impact on the children. If the fathers are totally involved, Kudos to them. Hopefully, they have established a balance that works. Erykah HAPPENS to be one of the lucky ones where money isn’t an issue. Although important, MONEY is not the ONLY concern. When you have NO money issues you tend to be able to focus on other things such as your children’s well-being. Maybe they are showing how 2 parents can communicate effectively w/o being in live-in relationships. Ultimately, whether you and I like it or not…they are again living the life that 70% of us live and we are trying to rid our communities of…w/o seeing positive 2-parent home relationships.

Soap Box Time AGAIN: Just like OJ! I didn’t feel a particular connection with him b/c he’s black b/c I don’t KNOW him. I didn’t win a thing when he won his case. I was pleased to know that he didn’t get convicted just b/c he was black! In the same way, I don’t have any connection with Erykah. She doesn’t represent me unless I want her to.

PEOPLE: If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything!! It’s ok to have an opinion. It’s even o.k. to voice that opinion.

Currently, I’m a single woman who still hasn’t come across her prince charming (I’m not looking either). I can certainly understand or relate to Erykah’s place in life. I can respect her as a woman, mother, artist, and feminist. However, I would NOT have another child without having a two parent home.

That’s just ME TELLIN’ IT LIKE IT T-I-TIZ!!!.

This is Erykah Badu’s response to recent criticism about have 3 Baby Daddies!!

HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM

…AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.

ive never been so disgusted in all of my life .
there is no other place i used to enjoy more .
i post no where else .
you guys have taken an all time low , tho.

I’LL STATE MY PEACE

i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world .
my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met.
I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability.
i am their doctor and their nurse .
and even sometimes their mother and their father.

i am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.
I PUT MUCH TIME AND THOUGHT INTO HAVING AND RAISING MY CHILDREN.
IVE HAD THE HONORS OF HAVING 2 HOME BIRTHS AND 2 WONDERFUL PARTNERS BY MY SIDE.

every relationship i have been in was because i loved the person DEARLY and was dedicated to us “exclusively” FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.

the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends .
we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will.
WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END.
we took our own “vows” and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .

question?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE ?
WHO IS THE JUDGE?
WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE EXAMPLES WE ARE GIVEN ( well sort of)

WOULD IT “LOOK BETTER ” TO MARRY AND DIVIORCE AND MARRY AGAIN ?
WOULD THAT BE MORALLY CORRECT ?
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE ? the government’s involvement i guess.
IDEALLY , IT WOULD BE EXCELLENT TO FIND THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO FULFILLS YOUR SPIRIT AND STAY FOR EVER AND EVER ( thru sickness and health till death do us part ) AND HAVE HEALTHY STRONG CHILDREN AS A RESULT OF A HEALTHY AND STRONG UNION.
(this CAN happen … we need much training , however.)

OR

IS IT REALLY “GOOD” TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE UNFULFILLED , LONGING FOR RELIEF , BRINGING one another down as a result of improper training , creating BAD ENERGY AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE CHILD TO REPEAT ?
(not to mention breeding deceit and anger and resentment )
SEEMS TO CREATE FEARFUL CHILDREN WHO TURN INTO FEARFUL ADULTS .

HOW MANY OF YOU GREW UP IN 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE MISERABLE AS FUCK ?
OR 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE NOT PERFECT BUT WORKED?
HOW MANY GREW UP IN ONE PARENT HOMES WHERE THE MOTHER WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE CARED FOR BUT SHE WASNT QUITE HAPPY?
HOW ABOUT A HOME WHERE THE FATHER WAS THE MAIN CARE GIVER AND DID THE BEST HE COULD -LACKING NURTURE?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A SIBLING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER OR MOTHER?
DOES HE OR SHE MEAN LESS TO YOU?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 MOTHER OR FATHER OF YOUR OWN CHILDren ?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAD /OR / ARE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN ,THAT DONT QUITE FIT ANY OF THESE DESCRIPTIONS?
HOW MANY OF YOU STAY IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR FEAR OF GOING TO HELL?
HOW MANY HOS OUT THERE … THAT HAVE KIDS TO GET A PAYDAY?
HOW MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEY ASS KICKED AND ARE FORCED TO SUBMIT CAUSE YO MAMA GOT HER ASS KICKED?
THEN WHAT is CORRECT?

how about this:

I PRAY WITH MY CHILDREN
I FEED THEM GOOD FOOD
THEY RESPECT PEOPLES DIFFERENCES
THEY TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH ME
THE KNOW WHO THEY ARE
THEY ADORE THEIR FATHERS AND ARE LOVED BY 2 PARENTS OR MORE -
OR TWO OR MORE SETS OF LOVING GRANDPARENTS
THEY CRY
THEY GET HURT
THEY GET SICK
THEY HEAL

THEY ARE real

THEY ARE NOT AN IDEA or a TOPIC
AND NEITHER AM I .
I AM ALIVE .
I AM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
I AM A GOOD WOMAM.
I AM GROWING
I AM COMPLETE WITH OR WITHOUT A PARTNER AND WILL ALWAYS BE
AND I HAVE DREAMS OF A FAMILY STRUCTURE
ALL OF MY DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE
AND DESPITE ALL OF THE PAIN IN MY LIFE …
IN MY MOTHERS LIFE …
IN MY GRANDMOTHERS LIFE
WE HAVE ALWAYS ENDURED
AND THERE IS SO MUCH JOY TO BE EXPERIENCED.
I NEVER HAD A FATHER AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE -
BUT MY CHILDREN DO , AND THEY LOVE THEIR ‘PARENTS’ .

WE ARE THEIR CHAMPIONS .

live how you want . follow which ever pattern YOU like .
MY CHILDREN WILL BE LEADERS
and they will not ever be slaves to this society’s failing idea of morality.
THEY OWN THEIR MINDS AND THEIR DREAMS.

BIRTH CONTROL lol … could have 10 babies instead of 2 .

I LOVE CHILDREN AND I WILL HAVE AS MANY AS GOD WILL GIVE ME .

I AM VERY HEALTHY AND RESPONSIBLE AND SO ARE ALL OF MY PARTNERS

I CHOSE THEM WISELY AND SOBERLY .

ALL GOOD BROTHERS .

your opinions lack experience and are not only careless but also very uninformed and immature.

nothing is sacred here . and i see why.

if i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then
F*CK OFF… WHO NEEDS YOU ….CERTAINLY NOT ME … KICK ROCKS … CALL TYRONE … PACK LIGHT …. BITE ME

i have defended myself here ON THIS SITE and hurled a few insults .. but only in response to your insults of
my music , my clothes , my lyrics , my hair , my being a woman , my spirit, my choices of partners….
these have all been on trial here . and i continued to support the energy of this place .

this is to all the okay players / REAL HUMAN BEINGS hiding behind screen names in order to insult one another and who ever else you will.

geeeez…
i had to say something
i am so sad for parents who try , today guys
enough is enuf.

dont judge to quickly , OKAY PLAYER?

i know you are having fun , but what if it were you and your children?
my son is 10 .
my daughter, 4 .

peace

ANALOGUE GIRL

and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.

Here to tell it like it T-I-Tiz!!!

WHAT THE FANS ARE SAYING!!!

AN INTERESTING TAKE!!